Terms and conditions
Terms and Conditions
You are entering a bond of brutalist curation!
1. All Transactions and Submissions are Final… like FINAL final. YES, EVEN YOURS. Ain’t no take-backs, rewinds, sike’s, or emotional appeals. You paid for a submission consideration or a B2B trend intelligence subscription, and now you want out? Sir, we understand you are “confused” but we are 100% going to be charging your card. We hope you enjoyed the brutal honesty. You bought it? Good looks. Your track, digital art, or fashion line got rejected? Cool story bro… just assume we did that on purpose to motivate you. Now put it in the aspirational section of your hard drive and hit the studio. We told you upfront: NO FKRY conceptually translates to zero nonsense and pure transparency.
2. No Returns, No Exchanges, No “But My Mom Liked It”. This is a high-fidelity cultural curation platform governed by Hakim Draper and David Lotwin. According to our lawyers, you didn’t “buy” a guaranteed feature; you made a financial contribution for the privilege of being judged by industry veterans with decades of experience. This is like getting a Cartier bracelet from the guy at the dice game. You got brutally honest feedback? Dope… should probably frame it. That’s history. If you think your submission deserved the main feed and you want a refund, re-read the definition of “professional taste” and have a long think about whose fault that is. If you still think we’re to blame, skip to number 4.
3. This Ain’t A PR Firm. This Ain’t Algorithm Slop. This is Consumer Combat. Your art didn’t make the cut and you feel scammed? That’s tragic… but also that’s your aesthetic logistics issue. We don’t do traditional customer service, and we certainly don’t coddle the algorithmically fatigued. There’s no corporate structure here, Karen. No interns named Brittany are checking your order number. If you talk spicy or demand to chat with whatever you think passes for a “manager,” our editorial team is trained to hang up on you IMMEDIATELY. We only hire culturally cutting-edge arbiters of taste with aggressive amounts of dignity. Nobody is gonna “lose their job” because you are unsatisfied with your intelligence dossier.
4. Don’t Mistake Kindness for Weakness. If you hit us up thinking your situation is special—like you bought a $89/month Pro Dossier subscription while microdosing in Tulum and forgot you already bought it, or your submission was for a girl who ended up being a romance scammer from Lagos—that’s awesome. Glad you are well-traveled. None of that constitutes an “us” problem, tho. You will not out-emotion us. We are building NO FKRY as a genre-agnostic community to cut through industry noise, not to be your therapist.
5. THE CURATION WAS NEVER NORMAL. NEITHER WERE YOU. Once the transaction clears, we all move on. You bought into an uncompromising platform designed to filter out industry slop. If you’re reading this thinking “wait… I thought I was guaranteed a viral hit?” then you have fundamentally misunderstood the nature of our website, and may God have mercy on your soul. By continuing with this purchase, you agree to all of the above. You waive your right to argue, get a refund, or complain with any moral superiority.
Refunds
If the above did not make it perfectly clear… no.
You want us to call the server hosts and say, “Hey… can you run me back some of the money I paid y’all? Turns out a musician I sold a submission to is mad that we told him his track sounds like royalty-free elevator music.” That ain’t gonna happen, home skillet. Our refund policy is U.F.O. — U Fucking Own it.
Try to pull a chargeback? We will 100% pop up on Twitter with your rejected audio files. We will post your music, your aesthetic choices, your email address… all of it. We will let the anti-slop internet cook you slowly while we pretend to have no idea why you are mad at us.
Late or missing refunds
If you haven’t received a refund yet, first check your bank account again. Then contact your credit card company. If you’ve done all of this and you still have not received your refund yet, please seek the counsel of whoever sells God in your area, because you have a better chance of getting cash from them than you do getting one red cent from NO FKRY.
